


if you stay forever

by seasandsalt



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Beaches, Bittersweet, Dancing, Established Relationship, Fluff, Inspired by Music, M/M, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29766843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasandsalt/pseuds/seasandsalt
Summary: sapnap rolled his eyes - a gesture dream couldn’t see behind the tinted lenses of his aviator sunglasses but knew was there - and turned to look in the backseat. a small, red cooler sat on the plush leather. beside it, a few beach towels and a can of… gasoline?“are you murdering me?”“what? no! sapnap!”“okay, sure,” the syllables were long and drawn out and sapnap had raised his hand in mock surrender.the car filled with the sounds of their laughter, fresh and bright and lively, and dream put the car in gear and pressed his foot down on the gas pedal. they took off along the straight stretch of road, turning onto the highway and setting off to their destination.or;sapnap is leaving for college the next morning. dream makes plans for their last night together.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	if you stay forever

**Author's Note:**

> for @60SIMP on twitter! they asked me if i’d write something inspired by avril lavigne’s ‘here’s to never growing up’, and this is what i came up with! hope it’s what you were looking for :)

it was their last night together.

summer was over and sapnap was moving back to texas the next morning to return to university. they’d spent may through august together and dream wasn’t quite ready to give sapnap back yet; he wanted to keep him in florida, in his arms, forever.

but sapnap had to go and dream had to let him and spend his days waiting for the next time sapnap would fly out to see him.

he’d planned something special for their final night, though, to make the most of their last shared hours.

dream sat in the driver's seat of his car and honked the horn. he turned the dial on the stereo up and blasted the car - and neighborhood - with a random song from his playlist. the convertible’s top was down and fresh summer air breezed through his hair. his eyes were trained on the front door of his house.

the door opened to sapnap, a dumb smile plastered on his face and his hair up in a bun. he was wearing brightly coloured shorts and a white t-shirt. his cheap flip flops made _slaps_ against the concrete walkway as he locked the front door and made his way to the car.

dream leaned over the console and popped the door handle for him.

“such a gentleman,” sapnap giggled, hand placed against his chest in fake shock.

“what can i say?” dream smiled. “i know how to treat a man right.”

the car door slammed shut and sapnap slid his sunglasses down from the top of his head onto the bridge of his nose and over his eyes. he turned to face dream, that same smile on his face, and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

dream rested a hand on the steering wheel and kissed him back, reaching down with his free hand to intertwine their fingers on the console. 

“ready?”

“where are we going?”

“you’ll see.”

sapnap rolled his eyes - a gesture dream couldn’t see behind the tinted lenses of his aviator sunglasses but knew was there - and turned to look in the backseat. a small, red cooler sat on the plush leather. beside it, a few beach towels and a can of… gasoline?

“are you murdering me?”

“what? no! sapnap!”

“okay, sure,” the syllables were long and drawn out and sapnap had raised his hand in mock surrender.

the car filled with the sounds of their laughter, fresh and bright and lively, and dream put the car in gear and pressed his foot down on the gas pedal. they took off along the straight stretch of road, turning onto the highway and setting off to their destination.

it was early evening and the sky was clear. the sun was beginning to move below the horizon and paint the sky with oranges and yellows. cars surrounded them and the smell of exhaust mixed with the summer air, honking horns and revving engines blending seamlessly with their music.

the drive wasn’t eventful; dream kept one hand on the steering wheel and the other on sapnap’s thigh, fingers playing with the inseam of his neon pink shorts, and he nodded along to the music, occasionally humming the tune or tapping the beat into sapnap’s skin. sapnap had one arm hanging out the window and the other hand resting atop dream’s. his head was back against the headrest and he kept his eyes trained on the slow movement of the sun.

palm tree fronds swayed in the summer breeze above them and they made their way up the highway and through the crowd of cars turning on and off the exits. they drove for a little over thirty minutes in comfortable silence. sapnap let dream focus on where he was going and the traffic around them while he allowed his own thoughts to wander.

dream took an exit and turned them onto a less crowded highway, the busy interstate and cars becoming nothing but specks in the rear view mirror. 

the air was warm and the wind ruffled their hair and dream spared a glance over at sapnap. his face was bright, illuminated by the slowly setting sun. his sunglasses reflected the colourful sky and his smile was infatuating. he looked beautiful and the sight of his boyfriend would never fail to take his breath away. he was going to miss him.

dream squeezed sapnap’s thigh and rubbed circles into the skin with his thumb. 

“you okay?” sapnap was looking at him. he turned the music down.

“yeah. i’m good. just,” he sighed, “gonna miss you.”

sapnap smiled sadly. “i know. i’m gonna miss you, too. but, we’ve got tonight, right? and you had that mischievous smile when you left the house this morning, so i know you’ve got something memorable planned.”

dream laughed softly and looked back at the road, the black asphalt stretching endlessly in front of them. “yeah.”

sapnap patted his hand and turned the dial of the stereo back up.

the music was soft, a gentle guitar strumming and breaking into quiet drums and background vocals. dream tap, tap, tapped his fingers along the curve of the steering wheel in time with the beat while sapnap hummed the melody.

“i didn’t know you still had this song on your playlist.”

dream looked over. “of course i do. this was the song that played when i kissed you for the first time.”

sapnap smiled and looked behind him. “in the backseat of this car.”

_i don’t want to be your friend,_

_i just want to be your lover._

the lyrics to radiohead’s ‘house of cards’ filled the space between them and around them. they reached into his chest and squeezed his heart and his body filled with the bittersweet feeling of want. he wanted to go back to that night, all those years ago. he wanted to feel the weight of sapnap on his lap for the very first time again and experience the butterflies in his stomach when he’d kissed him back.

he wanted to keep him forever and never have to let go.

it was as if sapnap could sense the tears welling behind dream’s eyes. a warm hand cupped his cheek and he fought the urge to let the car crash off the side of the road just to have sapnap’s eyes on him. but he kept his eyes trained forward.

“i love you, dream.”

“i love you too.” he risked it and turned his head, kissing sapnap’s palm and shooting him a grateful smile.

sapnap smiled back and gave his cheek a gentle pat. he put his hand back on top of dream’s.

_no matter how it ends,_

_no matter how it starts._

the music was loud but sapnap was louder. dream could pick out his voice from a million miles away and the sound was sweet like honey and warm like the sun. his voice was melodic and comforting as he quietly sang along to the music. it broke the tension between them and set dream’s mind at ease. they still had one night together.

the chorus played and sapnap sang along and dream’s heart was full and he was happy. sapnap’s voice slowly grew louder and dream smiled wide.

_the infrastructure will collapse,_

_from voltage spikes._

dream opened his mouth and let his voice join the harmony. he could hear the smile in sapnap’s voice.

_throw your keys in the bowl,_

_kiss your husband goodnight._

despite the song’s calm beat and gentle lyrics, they raised their voices.

_forget about your house of cards,_

_and i’ll do mine._

they belted at the top of their lungs, off tune and off beat but neither of them cared. the road was empty, now, and the sky was pink and purple, red and orange, blue. the air was warm, a break from florida’s constant humidity, and dream pulled the car into an empty parking lot.

the song tapered off, drums and guitar fading into synthetic silence before the song ended. dream twisted the key and pulled it out of the ignition, shoving it deep within his pocket.

he turned in his seat as best he could and faced sapnap. his eyes were trained on the sight before them, lips parted ever so slightly and hair mussed from the wind.

gently, dream reached his hand out and tugged on sapnap’s chin. their lips met and dream felt alive. he tasted like toothpaste and summer and heat and _sapnap_ and dream’s vision swam and his heart thumped against his rib cage. 

they kissed until the seatbelt began digging uncomfortably into his neck and shoulder and sapnap pulled back with a laugh when dream winced. he rubbed a hand over the indent it’d made along his skin and popped it open with a _click_.

sapnap opened his own seatbelt and pushed the door open. his flip flops hit the sandy parking lot and he stretched his arms above his head. tanned skin was exposed with the lift of his shirt and dream had to look away.

he got out of the car and raised his hand in front of his eyes, blocking the glare from the sun.

in front of them sat the ocean, big and wide and expansive. waves rolled along the surface and rhythmically splashed against the sandy shore. the sun was slightly to their left and bathed the beach in light. the colours of the sky were reflected on the water and made it look like a giant painting. a fire pit was nestled in the sand to their right.

dream walked around the car and stood behind sapnap. he wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled his back against his chest. his chin rested on top of sapnap’s head and he whispered, “is this good?”

sapnap spluttered and turned in his arms, standing on his tip toes to press a quick kiss to dream’s lips. “good?” he asked. “dream, it’s gorgeous.”

“good.” he kissed back and squeezed sapnap’s hips before letting go and taking a step back. he reached into the backseat of the car and grabbed the handle of the cooler and tucked the towels under his arm. he left the rest of the items for the moment and grabbed sapnap’s hand with his free one.

“how is there no one here? this is, like, the prettiest beach i’ve ever been to.”

dream laughed. “i’m not sure. i’ve been going here since i was a kid and it’s never been popular.”

their feet hit the sand. they walked further onto the beach before dream unceremoniously dropped the items to the ground. the cooler landed upright, next to the fire pit, and the towels lay around it.

dream kicked his sandals off and pulled his shirt over his head. it landed on the sand next to the towels. he watched as sapnap tugged his own shirt over his head and threw it down next to his shoes.

the sand was warmed from the sun and was soft between his toes. they ran, hand in hand, to the edge of the water. waves rushed over their ankles and splashed against their calves. dream grabbed sapnap’s other hand and pulled him close to his chest. he hadn’t changed his stance to accumulate for the weight imbalance dream fell backwards into the water, sapnap on top of him.

saltwater rushed over both their heads and they quickly resurfaced. dream’s nostrils were filled with water and his coughs quickly turned into laughs when he caught sight of sapnap.

his hair was half out of the bun and plastered across his forehead and cheeks. his shorts were soaked and hugged his skin nicely and dream wanted him to turn around so he could drool at the sight of his boyfriend in skintight, neon pink clothing. sapnap spat out a mouthful of seawater and made a face.

“gross.”

dream laughed harder and reached for sapnap again, this time shifting his feet so they’d stay above the surface. sapnap’s lips were salty when they pressed against his and the kiss broke apart all too soon because neither of them could stop smiling.

the sun was almost completely gone from the sky and the water was bright red and pink. it stretched out before them, endlessly, and the waves shifted and morphed the colours.

they were further out from the shore, now, and the water reached the bottom of dream’s pecs and brushed over sapnap’s collarbone. he was completely dumbfounded, staring stupidly at the water droplets rolling down sapnap’s tanned skin and he felt his mouth go dry.

sapnap snorted and pushed water towards him, the droplets spraying up and soaking him.

“down, boy,” sapnap giggled. dream flushed.

“oh, really?” he smirked and splashed the water back at sapnap.

the air was filled with the sounds of splashing water and ecstatic laughter and the sun finally dipped below the horizon. the sky was dark blue and faint stars could be seen through the smog of the city.

sapnap’s laughter tapered off as he raised his head and looked at the sky above them. it was dark and dream could _just_ make out the frown that tugged the corners of his lips down.

“hey, hey,” dream said, voice soft as he waded through the water. he wrapped an arm around sapnap’s waist and sighed when he felt wet hair against his shoulder. “the night’s not over yet, right? i’ve still got more planned.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

they both exhaled and took a few seconds to stare up at the sky. a plane passed over them and disappeared.

dream nodded and grabbed sapnap’s hand. he turned around and began walking back to the shore, sapnap in tow behind him. 

their feet hit dry land and sand stuck to their wet skin. dream shook his head like a dog and water from his hair spattered against sapnap.

“dude!” he yelled, pulling the wet hair tie from his hair before doing the same.

they were laughing and the air was light. sapnap reached down and tossed a yellow towel to dream, picking up a blue one for himself. the two of them dried off in silence and pulled their shirts back over their heads. sapnap knelt on the ground and opened the cooler while dream walked back over to the car.

inside the cooler were a few cans of cola. there was a bag of marshmallows and a small chocolate bar nestled next to a bag of graham crackers. 

soft music filled the air when dream stuck the key into the ignition and turned the volume up on the stereo. he laughed when he made his way back over the sand, can of gasoline and box of matches in his hand, and saw sapnap with his hands inside the cooler.

“hope i packed adequate snacks.”

“hm,” sapnap sat back on his heels and tapped a finger against his cheek. “they’ll do, i suppose.”

dream smiled and shook his head, setting the gasoline can down beside the fire pit. a few logs were already placed inside and dream grabbed a few more from the pile next to it. the wood was drizzled with gasoline and a match was struck and dropped in the pit.

flames, bright orange and hot, sputtered to life in front of them. they shot towards the sky and the logs crackled under the intense heat. sparks popped and hit the sand next to their feet. dream sat down, sapnap following suit.

dream had his legs spread out in front of him and he wrapped his hands around the cold can that sapnap had handed him. twin _cracks_ filled the air as the two of them popped the tabs open at the same time. they raised their cans and brought them together in a cheers.

fizzy liquid rushed past his lips and over his tongue and he swallowed the sweet drink with a pleased sigh. sapnap did the same and set his can down on the sand beside them.

he reached back into the cooler and pulled out the chocolate and marshmallows, followed quickly by the bag of graham crackers.

“do we have sticks?”

“oops.”

“dream!”

he brought his hands up in fake surrender. “sapnap!”

he snorted. “you’re such an idiot.”

“yeah,” he said, “but i’m your idiot.”

sapnap rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder. “you literally went to the grocery store this morning and bought all this, and you didn’t think to buy _skewers_? are we just supposed to shove our hands into the fire to roast the marshmallows?”

dream feigned hurt and rubbed his shoulder. “unless you can come up with a better idea.”

“dumbass.”

“hey!”

dream’s protests were drowned out by sapnap, who made a point of opening the bags and wrappers as loud as possible. he threw a marshmallow at dream and laughed when it bounced off his nose and onto the sand.

the song in the background changed to something upbeat and lively and dream dived at sapnap, shoving him down into the sand and sitting on top of him, narrowly missed the open can of cola. beside them, the fire cracked and danced and reached towards the sky.

sapnap smirked and brought his hands to dream’s hips. in an instant, they were flipped and sapnap’s weight was pressed firmly against dream’s stomach. dream pushed up and then they were rolling through the sand, laughter filling the air.

“you’re - ah! - such an idiot!” sapnap teased when his back hit the sand for the third time. dream pinned his wrists down by his head and smiled triumphantly from his position on top of him.

“i may be an idiot but at least i won.”

“yeah, sure,” sapnap scoffed.

dream beamed down at him and leaned forward to press their lips together. sand fell from his hair onto sapnap’s face and he giggled against his lips.

“dude!”

dream barked out a laugh and sat back, freeing sapnap’s wrists. he rolled off him and stood up, offering a hand to the boy he loved. 

their fingers laced together and the song changed again. sapnap pulled dream close and twisted his hips to the music. dream followed suit and then they were dancing stupidly across the sand without a care in the world. song after song after song and they bounced and spun and laughed and sang and they were happy. the moment was sweet and made dream feel like they were teenagers again. being with sapnap made him feel forever young and restless, anxiously awaiting their next endeavour and experience. 

they’d made their way back over to the fire and ‘heart of cards’ came back onto shuffle. they let the slow music wash over them. dream wrapped his arms around sapnap’s waist and pulled him close.

sapnap brought his arms around dream’s neck and rested their foreheads together. they both hummed the lyrics.

the lulling crash of the waves against the shore and the sounds of the fire mixed with the melody of the song and created something beautiful, something perfectly theirs that dream knew he’d remember it for as long as he lived.

all too soon the song was over and replaced with another upbeat one and it felt wrong to slow dance to the all-american rejects. so they pulled away, dream letting his touch linger against sapnap’s hips, and sat back down on the sand.

they finished the drinks in their cans and dream broke the chocolate bar into bite-sized squares. sapnap handed him a graham cracker.

sapnap snorted when dream stared, puzzled, at the marshmallow in his hand. he squeezed it a couple times, watching it squish and then reinflate back to its normal shape, before changing his grip. he held onto the very edge of the marshmallow with the tips of his fingers and brought it close to the flame.

orange fire graced the white marshmallow and gave it a golden skin. dream pulled his hand back and set it on top of the chocolate and cracker. he smiled, smugly, at sapnap.

“are you serious?” he deadpanned, holding back a laugh at the sight of the marshmallow. half of it was still pure white and cold while the other was bubbling and slightly charred. “you can’t seriously be smug because of _that_.”

dream shrugged and put another graham cracker on top of it, completing the s’more. “you think you can do better? be my guest.”

and the challenge was on.

both boys held the marshmallows with the tips of their fingers and got more and more brave with bringing their hands close to the flames. sapnap laughed when dream dropped one - the perfect one, he’d called it - right into the center of the fire. 

soon the chocolate was gone and their stomachs were full and the moon had risen above them. they sat back, legs stretched out in front of them, leaning back on their hands.

dream kicked his foot to the side and jostled sapnap’s leg, the touch tender and full of love. sapnap retaliated by stretching his leg over dream’s.

they sat in silence and watched the fire slowly die down. the music was quiet.

“dream?”

“what’s up?” he turned to look at sapnap, whose eyes were glued to the dancing flames.

“thank you.”

“hm?”

sapnap turned to look at him, now, and his eyes were wet with unshed tears. half his face was illuminated and the other was cast in shadows. the illusion was dramatic and melancholic and tugged on dream’s heart strings. he reached a hand out and cupped sapnap’s cheek.

“thank you for this summer. for letting me stay with you, for showing me around florida.”

dream’s eyebrows furrowed. “baby, you don’t need to thank me, it was my pleasure.”

sapnap shook his head. “‘m not done.” he took a shuddering breath. “thank you for loving me, for letting me love you back. thank you for still loving me after i moved away last year and thank you for letting me come back.” his lip trembled and he sniffled.

dream pulled sapnap’s face closer and pressed his lips against his forehead. “i’m always going to love you. i’ll love you if you move back to texas, i’ll love you if you stay forever. i’ll love you for as long as i live and as long as you’ll let me.”

tears spilled over sapnap’s eyes and dream let him crawl into his lap. “i’m gonna miss you.”

“i’m gonna miss you, too, pandas,” dream’s lips ghosted over sapnap’s and he gripped his hip with one hand and used the other to wipe the tears off his cheek. “there’ll always be a place for you here with me.”

sapnap smiled weakly and closed the space between them.

the kiss was sweet with chocolate and salty with tears. it was full of bittersweet love and remorse, and, somehow, it was the best kiss the two had ever shared.

**Author's Note:**

> sea writing something that ISN’T hurt no comfort ??? crazy.
> 
> anyways !! thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed !! feel free to leave a comment and a kudos, it’s very encouraging and keeps me motivated :D
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/seasandsalt)! i tweet a lot about upcoming and ongoing fics, so if you’re interested in seeing what i’m working on, pop a follow!


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